Seeking Inspirato with Nicole in Tucson, Arizona

A Nightmare on Easter Sunday

One of the questions that resonates most with the Seeking Inspirato features is: When did clothing start to mean something to you?

Today’s feature, Nicole, distinctly remembers the impact her outfit choice had on a specific Easter Sunday.

“I remember walking down the long aisle of the Catholic Church, [and] I just wanted to cry. That’s the first memory that came to my head.”

Nicole spent the night at her best friend’s house the Saturday before Easter Sunday, only to realize she hadn’t brought appropriate clothing for the church service. Her friend had a dress and some tights but no shoes that would fit Nicole. She was left with only one option: her brother’s hand me down snowmobile boots.

“Her shoes were too small, so there was no getting around it.”

Her friend’s family tried to alleviate Nicole’s worries by assuring her that what you wore to worship didn’t matter—but no amount of support could silence the disapproval she imagined all around her.

“I was mortified. I was trying to keep it together because this family was like my family…but I was crying because I had to go to church in my boots with the dress and tights. [It was] just wrong.”

I’ve learned through interviewing Clothing Confident women that the first experience with clothing is a memorable one. It can be either encouraging or harrowing—neutral experiences don’t seem to create memories!

If you’ve had an early, negative association with clothing, don’t let it hold you back. I’ve met women who have developed Clothing Confidence from both negative and positive memories, take Nicole.

Inspiring Women Inspired Nicole

How do we find our personal styles? The million dollar question.

All Clothing Confident women have a moment when they feel inspired to dress differently and to improve their lives. Remember Hailey? She joined the debate team with low self-confidence and very few positive experiences with clothing, but she left high school knowing the power of a pencil skirt in helping to stand confidently in front of a room—a total 180*.

For Nicole, there was a specific moment when she was introduced to Elegance itself: her new boss, Tracy.

Nicole’s first job out of college was working at a Loews Hotel in Tucson. Tracy dressed smartly and smelled ravishing. She was the epitome of class.

“[Tracy] was always dressed chef’s kiss. I think Tracy drank Safari perfume. She reeked of it in the best way…I was so inspired by her.”

Tracy was the first of many powerful women who would inspire Nicole’s personal style.

How to Reach “Clothes Nirvana”

“When I was in my career path, I liked the way I dressed, but it wasn’t super functional.”

I know the feeling. Is my skirt too high up? Do I have a run in my pantyhose? Why am I constantly yanking things down, or fixing buttons.

Sometimes, 3 out of our 4 Cs can be working (Cut, Color, Cloth), but if they’re not Comfortable, then what’s it all for?

Nicole had to find Comfort in clothing.

It was like this for a long time until she:

“matured into wanting to be in clothes I could really live in.”

This reminds me of the post-college graduation pilgrimage to Ann Taylor so many of us embark upon, only to realize, “wait, this two piece suit isn’t working for me.” Where does this stereotype of female professionalism come from anyway?

“As I got older, I figured, ‘I need to be in clothes that aren’t just for this occasion, or that occasion, I can wear [them] even if I’m sitting at home working’…but that took a while…I think it took me until my late 40s.”

Clothing can serve multiple occasion-types. Comfortable slacks can be business professional, or day-to-day chic, depending on the blouse, jacket, and shoes you pair with them.

This is essentially what Everlane gives consumers: comfortable, reasonably-priced clothing that is made sustainably and can be dressed up or down to fit any occasion, from the boardroom to cocktail hour.

Realizing that a single piece of clothing can function for multiple occasions helped Nicole find the clothing she felt most herself in, and that got her to “Clothes Nirvana.” A phrase I love and will be borrowing.

Getting to her Clothes Nirvana took time, age, inspiration from female leaders, friends, and books, and lots of experimentation.

The Key to Personal Style is Experimentation

“We’re all experimenting, always.”

The secret to coming into your Clothes Nirvana is to keep experimenting.

But beware: this concept of “aging into it” only works if you’re exercising your creative muscles.

And even then, there’s still room for growth! Nicole has mastered the basics: a black cocktail dress or a t-shirt and jeans. But she’s recently become more interested in Color and is testing her Color Comfort levels.

When we incorporate new styles into our wardrobes, we naturally assimilate to a new Comfort level.

Experimenting with new Cuts, Colors, Cloths, and Comfort styles will allow us to grow our Clothing Confidence.

A lot of the outfits will end up on the floor, and you’ll get a little frustrated, but that’s ok!

Instead of saying, “that style doesn’t work for me,” consider that you just aren’t sure how to style the look yet. Sometimes we know immediately if a style is going to work for us or not (low cut jeans will never work for me), but if an aesthetic is calling your name, don’t give up on the first try.

Nicole has gotten pieces from her friends that she would have never picked out for herself. Even though she doesn’t wear them often, her daughter has stored them for safe-keeping since she thinks they look great on Nicole.

This is a good reminder that if you have something you want to donate, consider giving it to a friend first.

It's a gift in a way because then they can try it out, scot free, and see if the style is something they like.

You just have to be ok with friends donating the piece if they don't like it. Don't expect to hear about the piece after you give it to them.

Make it Last

“There’s nothing kind in a dryer. It’s a rough place there.”

Nicole takes care of the pieces she owns very, very well.

Nicole’s ingredients to make a piece of clothing last.

Pick classic Cs that go with everything (Cut, Color, Cloth, and Comfort). Buy high end materials that are not likely to fall apart (for example, cotton is preferred over polyester).
Store your clothing well between seasons.
Wear aluminum-free deodorant with white pieces to prevent your tops from yellowing.
Use the dryer as little as possible. Hang dry.
Use lingerie bags in the washer. Hooks, eyes, corners of the washing machine… These are all places and things that can stretch and ruin your pieces.
With cashmere, line your drawer with cedar to prevent moth holes.

Nicole lives by the philosophy of buying nice things, taking care of them, and living in them.

Take this statement about wearing nice, leather shoes:

“If there’s a puddle, try to jump over it because they’re leather, other than that just go for it.”

Do you buy 10 of the same-ish thing, or 1 that’ll ride you through every outfit? Nicole opts for every day luxury, and you can too.

With high-low styling being as fashionable as it is, you can wear a tuxedo jacket with jean cut-offs, heels and a basic t-shirt dress, or Levi jeans with a silk blouse. All options are more than acceptable.

Thrift to Invest

You might be thinking, “investing” in clothing is for people with disposable incomes. Trust me, I get it.

But consider how thrifting could be a good bridge to finding a piece you want to invest in. Have a Gap trench coat that you bought for $5 from the Salvation Army? Have you worn the heck out of it, but want another one with a slightly different Cut, Color, Cloth, Comfort?

Maybe you find that you love the Cut, but that khaki isn’t really the right Color for your skin tone and you’d like to go with a blue that’ll bring out your best features.

You’ve proven to yourself that you can invest in a nicer piece. This is why people, as they get older, will invest in pieces because they’ve demonstrated that they’ll wear the item repeatedly. It’s not a guess-purchase.

You might be thinking, “investing” in clothing is for people with disposable incomes. Trust me, I get it.

But consider how thrifting could be a good bridge to finding a piece you want to invest in. Have a Gap trench coat that you bought for $5 from the Salvation Army? Have you worn the heck out of it, but want another one with a slightly different Cut, Color, Cloth, Comfort?

Maybe you find that you love the Cut, but that khaki isn’t really the right Color for your skin tone and you’d like to go with a blue that’ll bring out your best features.

You’ve proven to yourself that you can invest in a nicer piece. This is why people, as they get older, will invest in pieces because they’ve demonstrated that they’ll wear the item repeatedly. It’s not a guess-purchase.

Thrifting Through Your “Mud” Season

Thrifting is also a means to an end in a particular season of life.

“I became a thrift [store] shopper when I had kids, and I was a stay-at-home mom, and there wasn’t a lot of money.”

Nicole started dressing herself and her two girls in thrifted clothing when the girls were little. Thrifted clothing allowed her family to live as freely as possible in their clothing without fear of ruining it.

“Live in your clothes.”

^I want this printed on a shirt.^

“I paid a dollar for that. Get paint on it. Get mud on it…I don’t care. This shirt, I’m going to get snot on me, spit up, whatever… [it] cost a dollar fifty.”

In a lot of ways—particularly during the fleeting time from maternity, to postpartum, to OshKosh B’gosh—everyone is in a constant state of growth, and the spit-up, spilled ice cream mess of life is inevitable. The joy of getting your toddler’s outfits at Goodwill is in avoiding the emotional crush when her best friends draw on them in Sharpie.

There’s a time for staples, the pieces we keep forever, but 5 years old, or just-had-a-baby, might not be the right time for them.

Nicole’s Staples

What are the things that have stuck around? What do you find yourself consistently reaching for over the years?

“Things I’ve had since I was 20.”

If there’s one truism in fashion, it’s that everything comes back around, so if you have plastic boxes and an attic, go ahead and store your pieces. Your future nieces, daughters, and granddaughters will thank you!

“The other thing I saved from when I was 19 or 20 [was] a pair of Calvin Klein overall bibs. My daughter wears them now. She’s like ‘I’m so glad you saved these!’ I didn’t save very many things because over time, it just takes up space, but wow, she loves those bibs. They’ve got good juju on them; I loved those a lot, and she was worried I’d want them back…”

^ Every kid’s worst nightmare when they inherit a beloved piece. ^

But lucky for her daughter, Nicole is a generous mom.