Seeking Inspirato with Sheila
Sheila’s style story produces an exquisite, hopeful gradient of experiences. From hating the clothing in her childhood, to owning strong personal style in her adulthood that she wears with pride today.
Who is she?
Name: Sheila
Works as a: psychotherapist, LCSW in private practice
Age: 57
Sheila’s style described in her own three words: “Playful, balanced, juxtaposed”
The Style of a Goddess
I praise Sheila’s (even slow clap) style and outfits. They are playful, fairy-like, youthful, and mesmerizing.
Sheila has an incredible sense of personal style. Yet, it wasn’t always this way.
Her relationship with clothing is entangled with stories about family, money, envy, and strife.
Then
Catholic family. 5 kids. ‘Nuff said.
Clothing began to mean something to Sheila at a very young age.
“I loved clothing, the feel of different fabrics and the way clothes looked on people.”
The community where Sheila grew up was a very wealthy one. She attended a private school in Houston where the majority of her classmates shopped at Neiman Marcus.
But unlike the peers around her, Sheila was the youngest of 5 kids being raised by Depression-era parents who saw clothing as merely functional rather than aesthetic.
1st Photo: All 5 McKinley children posing for a family portrait in 1967.
2nd Photo: [Left] All 5 McKinley children grown up. [Right] Sheila, Liam, Doug
Sheila did have a few favorite pieces of childhood clothing handmade by her grandmother, like the one above that was made out of real cotton and velvet, a rare treat.
Polyester Blues
“My family was upper middle class, but compared to everybody else, and from my insulated kid perspective, I thought we were poor. All my friends shopped at high-end boutique stores but my mom bought our clothing at K-Mart. Even though my parents had money, they didn't really spend it.”
This was tough for Sheila because she cared. It bothered her that she couldn’t look like her classmates.
Sheila felt like she stood out in her “cheap polyester clothes” that didn't hang right and were often wrong-sized old hand-me-downs already worn out by multiple older sisters.
Sheila’s school photos from Kindergarten to 11th grade.
Home Life
If school wasn’t enough, the McKinley household wasn’t 100% storybook perfect either.
“Deep down, I also didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin due to a lot of stress I was experiencing in my family.
I don’t think I felt good anywhere—not in my family, at school, or anywhere on the planet! I just wanted to hide, but there I was standing out in clothing that was obviously very different from my peers.
It's like if you already feel things are kind of messed up and that you're different… and then you look around and you realize you actually look different, that's even harder. I just learned to put a smile on my face and to try not to focus on it.”
*Heart breaks*.
A First Taste of Fashion
During her sophomore year of High School, things changed for Sheila. Determined to shed the cheap hand-me-downs, she got a job scooping ice cream at Baskin Robbins while also cocktail waitressing, underage (with the help of a fake ID), at a country western dance hall. Through those two gigs, she made enough bucks to start buying her own clothing.
Her wardrobe wasn’t high quality at first, but it was stylish (think the Forever 21 of the 70s), and a big step in the right direction.
Sheila reflects on how this new clothing made her feel.
One place Sheila did feel confident growing up was when horseback riding.
“I noticed how much better I felt. On the inside, I still felt like I didn't fit in because of my own experiences growing up, but at least other people didn't have to know that. I realized ‘I can wear things that are fashionable and I can feel good, just like other people.”
Finally, she’d found a sense of normalcy in conditions that were anything but (raise your hand if your family doesn't perfectly fit “normal.”).
The Linen Pants
By the end of high school, Sheila had already established a baseline of style and clothing that she liked, but it wasn’t until college that one particular experience opened her eyes to the value of quality.
Her roommate had a pair of white linen pants that Sheila was instantly attached to. This said friend was even trusting enough to let Sheila borrow them for a day (eek! white!). It was a game changer.
Sheila immediately started saving up for her own pair and remembers what it felt like to wear them.
“Those linen pants were the opposite of my polyester childhood. I felt so good in them! I found a pair just as nice as my friend’s, long and wide-legged, with deep pockets and made of a heavy high-quality material. I wore them all the time. I remember walking down the street to catch the [UT] shuttle bus to head to class and feeling unusually confident and happy.”
The linen pants brought confidence and also opened Sheila up to the idea that she might have a personal style to explore and develop.
“Those pants were my first real staple. I had fun playing with what to wear with them, pairing them with different shirts and accessories. I felt like an artist with a blank canvas.
The pants were exactly as great as I thought they’d be and that made me feel really confident in my choice. I realized I could identify a piece of clothing and know it would be a good staple for me. And it was.”
Now
Branded Style Philosophies
Building off those early brushes with linen, Sheila’s personal style has flourished and blossomed with time. Today, she finds herself confident in her fashion identity, and has picked up more than a few tips and tricks along the way.
“I do feel like all of my clothing has something in common. Even between the work and play clothing.”
When it comes to Sheila’s personal style, there are two cornerstones.
“I love juxtaposition. I enjoy mixing something rufflely with a men’s wear piece.”
Feminine and masculine. Beautiful.
Yet the most branded aspect of Sheila’s style is balance.
“If I’m wearing a baggy shirt, I’ll balance it with some skinny jeans.”
The yin and yang effect. When half the body is oversized, Sheila’s philosophy is that the other half should be fitted.
On Keeping Her Closet Fresh
Sheila is a master at layering, which allows her to keep looks feeling fresh because she has so many possible outfit combinations.
“I love layering and trying out different combinations just for the fun of it. Even if you don’t think it’ll work, just trying out an unexpected pairing or an extra layer can end up creating a new vibe.”
One staple of her’s is the camisole, and she’ll often let a little peep of the cami show under a sweater or button down. It’s all in the details (something like this).
When Sheila’s options are feeling a bit stale, she’ll reach for a secret weapon.
“If I’ve worn a dress many times before, I’ll put a different pair of tights on and the whole outfit feels different.”
Subtle or Flashy
A classic Sheila accessory: the golden horse necklace.
Sheila likes a simple accessory ensemble.
“I do have some big statement jewelry but I often feel overdone when I wear it. So I pretty much wear the same jewelry everyday: gold hoops, maybe a necklace, and a few rings I’ll switch out.”
She has a thing for long necklaces, preferably those with a vintage touch. She has one with a bronze horse on the end, and another with a small, circular clock. Both have enduring stylistic qualities to them, like she picked them up from a Parisian shop in the 1800s.
It’s all of these intricacies and philosophies that Sheila has developed overtime that make her personal style so rich. Oh, and not to mention her flawless shopping process.
All Angles
When it comes to trying on, Sheila has a system.
“I seek out a trifold mirror. If they don’t have it in the dressing room, I’ll find where they do have one, which can be awkward but it’s worth it. You get such a better perspective.”
She does this because she’s purchased a piece or two (or more), and brought it home to find that a certain element of it looks strange, like the back or the side.
Particularly since Sheila’s job requires that she sit for the majority of the day in front of clients, she has a specific technique for vetting potential pieces.
“I stand around and I really think about it. I look in the mirror in different ways. Then I sit down, I find a place to sit and see how things look when I'm seated.”
A glowing example of Sheila’s resourcefulness. Leather boots Sheila has dyed twice and had re-heeled.
Material Girl
Sheila’s sense of balance is so strong that she’ll even alter her bags and shoes so that they go together.
“If I get an amazing purse or a pair of shoes, I work everything around that. I just dyed my favorite boots of 3 years to go with my new bag.”
Sheila is a big believer in leather shoes and purses. She keeps these pieces for a long time (I’ve witnessed it).
“Like I never with a capital N E V E R would buy a purse or shoes that aren’t leather…they just don’t last or wear well. I want to wear things for a long time, like the boots that I dyed–it's the second color I've gone through and I've had them re-heeled as well.”
Sheila swears by dying leather and getting pieces fixed when something goes wrong. Bottom line: she’s resourceful and avoids trendy clothing, opting for high quality pieces instead.
“They look beautiful and when you redo them with leather oil dye, it makes them even softer. Leather just improves and looks better over time.“
Sheila’s Daily Inspirato
“I would say to trust yourself with what you get excited about and don't worry about whether it it looks like something other people would wear. If you love the way something makes you feel, or how the material feels on your skin, or the way the color looks with your hair, trust it. Wear what makes you happy.”
“If you're creating a piece of art, it doesn't have to be a certain way—it’s a personal process that flows from your being. Creating an outfit is a similar process. You can try things on and then edit as you go if it’s not working, like painting something out of the picture that you want to redo. You know, like art, clothing is a very subjective thing and some people are going to love what you’ve created and others may go ‘huh’? But that's okay. It’s going to hang in my house, not theirs.”
“During my teens and early 20’s, I reached for a lot of external things to try to make myself feel better, and most of these things were destructive. I can say from experience that grasping for external fixes doesn’t work and happiness really is an inside job. It took deep digging and connecting with my truth and my emotions that ultimately led me to truly shed my childhood shame and discomfort. But in late high school and college, finally being able to wear the clothes I had wanted all along helped me tremendously in that process of healing—and continues to be a comfort today. Tuning in to how I wanted to dress myself and making that happen helped me develop my identity and build confidence.”
Maddison fastening Sheila’s dress.
Maddison’s Connection With Sheila
I know Sheila well. I’ve known her all of my life.
Sheila is a mentor, a confidant, a woman who has held my hand in the most solemn of times. One of the most painful, heart-breaking moments in my life was shared with Sheila, her husband Doug, and their son Liam.
I love Sheila.
She is my aunt. My mother’s baby sister.
Sheila, Doug, and Liam invited me into their home in Maine after graduating college so that I could get my feet on the ground and establish a life here.
Some gratitude is immeasurable. I am blissful that she is apart of the Seeking Inspirato project.
-Maddison McKinley
Credits:
A huge thank you to Sheila and all of the Seeking Inspirato participants for sharing their stories in hopes of inspiring other women.
All of amazing photography work was completed by Webb Photo in Portland, Maine.