Mamacita

What are some of your earliest memories with clothing?

“Seeing my mom dress up all the time. Growing up with her. She’s always in heels…but I love that about her…she’s going on 53…and she takes care of herself.”

After spending some time in Yuma, I wonder how Saira and her mom make their personal styles work.

Yuma is largely agricultural and leans conservative. It’s a small town where religion, family, and values are still important. 

“It’s very casual. I’m not casual.”

While in Yuma, I was the proud recipient of some serious stares while out at the local dive bar, Jimmie Dee’s. I was wearing a deep v-neck and jorts…whoops! Conservative + casual = a special hell for someone like me who prefers statement rhinestone earrings and loud outfit combinations.

Saira can relate to my feelings on Yuma style, but like me, she prioritizes her confidence over other people’s opinions.

“We all can dress nice. It’s if you want to, though.”

And so Saira’s “nice” toes the line of casual, while still being fashionable. Anything, in her mind, can be dressed up or down, and I agree. 

Saira is constantly getting asked, “Where did you get this? Do you go shopping a lot?”

But her answers aren’t what folks would expect.

“I actually like to save money when I’m shopping ‘cause I love food. I’d rather spend my money on food…let’s be real, who doesn’t love food?”

A stylish spendthrift who loves to grab a bite is a best friend of mine.

To Repress or Express? 

Anytime someone looks you up or down, or makes a demeaning comment, just remember they’re dealing with internal demons. They’re jealous of what you’re wearing, your creativity, or your downright self-confidence to wear it in the first place. They’re haters, which is a miserable way to live. Remember that. People are often fighting their own battles on the inside, and while sometimes they’re pain can come out and hurt us, just see it as a misfire. 

Believe it or not, Roger Ailes has one of the best quotes on this topic. 

In his book You Are the Message, he advises, “Be a thermostat and not a thermometer.” 

You’re set at 70 degrees, even if the other person is at 95 and rising. 

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stick up for yourself, though. 

It’s always appropriate to face people trying to oppress your Clothing Confidence. 

Someone staring too long? Don’t avoid them. Bring it into the light. 

Someone made a hurtful comment about your outfit? Shoot back with a nonstarter like, “I feel fantastic in what I’m wearing, and I refuse to let you take me down to your level.” Who can argue with that? Or, give them a compliment on their outfit (a real whiplash).

I know it takes energy, but if you have it, call them out on their bologna because they might think it’s ok to treat others like that. And it’s not.

Faith & Freedom of Expression

Saira grew up in a conservative home and attended an orthodox Christian church. In this way, she reminded me a little of Abi’s story.

Saira wasn’t allowed to wear pants. Her clothing and appearance were dictated by the church: skirts, dresses, and no makeup.

If you’ve read a Seeking Inspirato story before, you know where this is going. 

“I had the urge to…wear jeans…throw in other stuff…wear crop tops. As soon as I got the taste of…making my own money, I started shopping.” 

When Saira started working, it was game over for the “no pants” rule. She started working at fifteen, and the cash empowered her to dress the way she wanted to. From there, she began coming into her own sense of style. 

While her mom loved Saira’s experimentation instantly, her dad took some more time to grow into it.

“I have faith. That’s never going to change.”

This perceived correlation between self-expression and a move away from faith has always baffled me. A religion that is so insecure that they believe their base has to dress a certain way to be considered devout is a concerning ideology in 2021.

I understand respect for the church and for your body as a temple, but no pants? Does this mean my future cream, pantsuit wedding outfit is in jeopardy for my geriatric wedding?

Your faith in God can endure a clothing change. It’s that simple.

I have a problem with anyone telling you how to dress, whether that’s your boyfriend, your religion, or that mean voice in the back of your head.

You👏 Get 👏 To 👏 Determine 👏 How 👏 You 👏 Want 👏 To 👏 Show 👏 Up👏

Out of Your Comfort Zone

Saira, just like the Seeking Inspirato features before her, has the same laissez-faire attitude towards trying out new styles.

It goes a little something like this: if you don’t like it, change back to what you were going to wear. No harm done. Try again next time.

Looking to try something new on for size? Go shopping. Go Pinterest-hunting. Search for inspiration and pick up something you wouldn’t normally wear. 

Pinterest offers a great place to start because you can browse different styles for free to get a sense of what Cuts, Colors, Cloths, and Comforts give you butterflies of excitement.

“If you see stuff you like from different styles, and you throw it all together, you become a unique style yourself ‘cause you didn’t just get the whole outfit off the chic style, or boho style, you blended it.”

As every Clothing Confident woman would say: Don’t just copy someone else. Develop yourself.

Thank you, Saira!