Cut

Color

Cloth

Comfort

Two Dallas Girls Walk Into A Cafe …

As fate would have it, I met Karen while sipping a latte at a cafe in Savannah, Georgia. She was dressed impeccably (I notice these things 🙃) and happened to sit next to me on the patio at the Foxy Loxy Cafe.

I complimented her shoes, and we began chatting (it doesn’t take much!). 

It turns out she’s from Dallas and attended (and ran track for) Savannah State University. She has since graduated. Congrats girl!

Not only are we both from Dallas, but we also happen to share a deep love for the same exact thrift store in the DFW area: Value World on Buckner Road.

This is like two Italians finding out their mother’s work from the same lasagna recipe. It’s a big deal—cosmic and statistically improbable. There are hundreds of thrift stores in the DFW area, and the fact that I met a woman in Savannah, Georgia who’s favorite thrift store is the same as mine is as much of an anomaly as getting a great TexMex meal in Oregon.

Praise be to Value World. 

“If you go to H&M, Forever 21, you’ll find your basic blazer … but all my cool stuff I buy at the thrift store because nobody has it.”

Especially when you’re at Value World!

Karen even pulled some photos of her at Value World to legitimize her obsession. I have my own photos, too. In fact, for my High School senior prom, I purchased a 1950s wedding dress from Value World and had it tailored to fit me like a glove.

Karen also has an affinity for the wedding dress section at Value World.

So we made plans to hangout in Dallas when she was back in town for the holidays!

Karen and I met at the Paradiso in Oak Cliff, Dallas, Texas for a little bite to eat and a chat about Clothing Confidence.

The Science Behind a Shopping Buddy

“The other day we [Hannah and I] went thrifting … we walked into Dolly Python and a lady came over and said ‘y’all want to try these on, will you model for me? We can put it on Instagram and the website.’ … So I put on the most extra red jacket and some blue pants, a little bustier…”

During my time with Karen, she hit on a subject I’ve talked very little about: shopping buddies.

Hannah is Karen’s designated shopping buddy, and the two are so tight, they even go to the same hair guy (if you’re reading this, Chad, great work!).

Their energy together is electric. There’s a reason why the woman at Dolly Python instantly approached them for a photo; Karen and Hannah not only have great style, but have an inviting and alluring aura. 

A great shopping partner is what can make or break, the shopping experience. 

Now, some people might hate shopping no matter who they’re with, and to these people, I’d say maybe a good shopping partner is what you need.

For those of you who enjoy shopping but seem to have the experience spoiled by a poor companion, ditch them and keep reading to find your shopping accomplice. Shopping is supposed to be a fun, non-stressful, creative experience.

With a good shopping buddy, there aren’t any trust issues—you know they’re going to tell it like it is. Plus, they’re excited to be on the hunt with you for that new ensemble—animals do hunt most effectively in packs, afterall!

The fun in shopping, like mining for gold, is the anticipation, the desire to look and feel good, and the mystery.

“My girl Hannah is one of my best friends, we uplift each other and motivate each other” 

THAT’S the energy I’m talking about! Wondering how you can be a better shopping partner? Here are some tips:

How to Be a Good Shopping Partner

• Encouragement: Encourage your shopping companion to get out of her comfort zone, to try something on that she wouldn’t normally wear, and to just get out of quarantine and back into the world!

• Helpful Feedback : Don’t be overly opinionated, but give your honest feedback if asked. Be kind in your delivery and offer solutions if something isn’t working. Always keep the process moving. Never give rude, unsolicited criticism. 

• Keep the Vibes High: Speaking of, if something isn’t working, always try to keep the vibes high. You don’t need to be artificial, but shopping is best experienced when you’re in a connecting mindset. Positivity breeds creativity!

• Keep You Present: One of the benefits of shopping with someone is the ability to remain present and to prevent each other from going too deep into your own heads. If you can tell your buddy is sinking into a slough of despond, offer some guidance in the form of a compliment: “You have such a nice waist. I saw a great empire dress out there that would look awesome on you!”

Shopping with someone can be very cathartic, even if you don’t buy anything. You’re connecting with another person. You’re out of your home and daily routine doing something stress-free and getting out of your head for a bit. 

Plus, shopping is a great way to acquaint yourself with new Cuts, Colors, Cloths, and Comfort levels. Check out the shopping process that changed my Wardrobe.

On Confidence

“If you feel confident wearing it, then you’re going to look great.”

And this, my friends, is why it’s so important that you like what you’re wearing. I’m semi-convinced that 50% of the Clothing Confidence people get from stylists is the fact that the stylist tells them they look great (and the wearer believes it). You can do this for yourself. 

Karen took a risk back in High School when she tried a new hairstyle no Latina in her school had tried before: box braids.

“In High School, I didn’t see any Latina girl doing this—I got box braids. It looked so amazing, I got so many compliments.”

Karen consulted the experts: she went to a black-owned hair salon, and got her hair done.

“If I’m going to get it done, I’m going to get it done with the right people.”

She looks back on the box braids with fondness. It was the first time in her life when she moved beyond her comfort zone. Just before getting the braids, she began liking her personal clothing style, but realized Clothing Confidence is the whole appearance: hair included! Her box braids became her signature.

Is there something you’ve been wanting to try with your hair? A different length, color, shape? Karen’s hairstyle evolution demonstrates the power hair has over our looks, and personas.